My Big Fat Catholic-Hindu Wedding

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Fun Questions That We Have Been Asked:

Q: Why do you call your site "My Big Fat Catholic Hindu Wedding"???
Q: What is your preferred celebrity name: Laveen or Naura?
    Our answer: Laura thinks "Laveen" seems more natural to most, while "Naura" seems more designer-chic (and Naveen likes it better). For now, let's say "Laveen." Various family members already mistakenly call Naveen by that name already.

Q: What nicknames (or pet names) do you call each other?
    Our answer: "Monkey" has been around for a couple of years as a mutual term of endearment. (Sidenote: Laura is upset that it was recently used in Seasons 3 and 4 of "The Office" by Dwight and Angela.) "My favorite" is a common one as well. More typical names used mutually include "cutie," "sweetie," "honey," "baby," and "love." "Silly idiot" is occasionally used playfully. Exclusive names for Laura (used by Naveen) are "Boogaloo" and "Kitty" (the whole playing with the hair thing), and exclusive names for Naveen (used by Laura) are "jackass" (it's not a swear, he's like a donkey), and "puppy" (the whole rambunctious excitability thing). Family nicknames for each are "Laura Lu" and "Bobby."

Q: Who is Naveen? Is that a German name?
    Our answer: Naveen is Laura's soul mate. He is the best friend she has ever had, and he is the one person who can always bring smiles and laughter into any situation (Laura's words). Incidentally, he's about as far from German as you can get. Naveen is notably South Indian, and his name means "new."

Q: Who is Laura... Skowowowow?

Q: When you get married, are you going to be the "Skowronski-Nattams?"
    Our answer: Naveen says, "The answer is fries." Translation: I doubt it. It is fun to think about though, especially if we ever receive film or game credits (since our names would take up the entire screen). Wikipedia says that like most cultures, typically an Indian (Hindu) name will have a given first name, may or may not have a middle name (ie., Naveen has no middle name), and a last name or family name. After marriage, the Hindu girl's surname is usually changed to husband's surname or husband's first name (as in the South Indian community). The girl's surname is changed since "the Gotra" is changed after the marriage (that's the name of the first traceable paternal ancestor in their lineage). In South India if a married girl's name is Sudha Ramesh this means that Sudha is married to Ramesh - the first name of her husband (not the surname). Modern Indian Girls sometimes prefer to retain both their original surname and the surname of her husband. Also, like Polish names where a male's last name might end in "i" but the female name ends in "a", an Indian female's last name might carry a differentiating "i" (Kumar = male, Kumari = female), although it's not a definite trend for either culture (born in America, Laura is a Skowronski, not a Skowronska, like she might be in Poland). That should be enough information to keep you entertained.

Q: If you have kids, will you send them to Homestead?
    Our answer: Laura and Naveen both attended Homestead High School in Fort Wayne, Indiana - and both liked it pretty well - but most likely they'll have moved far, far away by the time they have kids.....Far.. far away...

Q: So, wait... Did you two ever have a date in high school?
    Our answer: Haha, nope! We can't claim to be high school sweethearts. But we knew each other through the arts and music programs, and I asked him to sign my address book (in lieu of a real yearbook), and he drew a funny picture on it. That's about the extent of our HHS relationship. (You can read our whole story here if you'd like!)

Q: Is beef REALLY what's for dinner?
    Our answer: NO! THE THOUGHT OF EATING A DIVINE ANIMAL ONLY INDICATES THAT YOU MUST SWEAT AND BLEED PURE EVIL FROM EVERY PORE IN YOUR CORRUPTED, DEMONIC SHELL OF A BODY. Ok, just kidding. Yes, we do eat beef, despite common Indian vegetarianism. Chicken, fish, shrimp, pork, beef, and various other meats are acceptable choices, in moderation, and grouped with appropriate servings of vegetables, grains, and dairy foods (although soy milk is preferred over milk).

Q: If you could make one type of animal really big, what animal would it be and why?
    Our answer: An elephant. Yes, we know, they're already quite large. But it would be cool to see a gigantic one.


Sexy-Sounding CG Questions (using computer graphics lingo):

Q: Do her NURBS mesh with his POLYS?
    Our answer: We hope so - but we believe in waiting until marriage to find out. Either way, we have faith that our CPU can make anything possible.

Q: Will you be using the push-pull method for marital negotiations, or will you simply render things out and hope for the best?
    Our answer: We most definitely plan to use smoothing and the push-pull method of refinement. We stand by our philosophy that character should be built vertex by vertex. We'd rather work on our mesh a little longer than to run into inverted normals or jaggy surfaces when we render.

Q: Will your children be raised in a NURBS environment or a POLY environment? Even better, will your future children be SUB-D?
    Our answer: It seems most appropriate (and we've agreed) to raise them in a NURBS environment, but thankfully our beliefs don't forbid exposure to POLYS, which we think is great. Subdividing children doesn't seem like the best idea, as it may cause them a lot of painful confusion, but we plan to avoid transparency, and to instead texture their lives with Normal Mapping, in hopes that they will extend themselves openly to many ways of life. In other words, we feel that in their ongoing day-to-day translation, rotation, and scale, the most important thing is WORLD peace (not just LOCAL), and we'd like to avoid Gimbal Lock as much as possible.

Q: Laura, are you hoping for a Max or a Maya?
    Our answer: We'd really prefer not to name our children after 3d animation software. But at the moment, we're hoping for a Maya. Eventually we'll want both, I think. And probably we'll end up with a SoftImage, too (which we'll lovingly call "Modo").

Q: Will Naveen write his vows in Actionscript?
    Our answer: No, he has moved on to greater forms of programming. Flash, while being useful, no longer amuses him. He now only seeks OpenGL, C++, and the love of a good woman (and in case you're wondering, that's Laura).

Q: Will the theme of the wedding be "The Incredibles?"
    Our answer: Hard to say. It would make a pretty snazzy reception. On the other hand, the ceremony would likelier take on the Finding Nemo theme.


Serious Questions That We Have Been Asked:

Q: The famous question: How did you meet? (aka, get together?)
Q: What is your fondest memory together up to this point?
    Our answer: This is really a tough one since we've been together for several years already - there are lots of very fond memories. We'll try to come up with a good one...

Q: How did you know you were meant to be together?
    Our answer: Laura says, "I always knew I was meant to be with Naveen in terms of friendship. What I didn't know right away was exactly how deep our love and devotion for each other could possibly go. Considering within the first year we were hammering out our racial and religious issues, and other difficult topics such as habits and families and so on, I think we both knew we were a good fit - we just constantly worked hard to strengthen it, and the more we tried for each other, the more joy we had. Plus, we've been practically inseparable since the beginning. We're soul mates."

    Naveen says, "Aw, that's sweet. Yeah, I agree. I think it was probably the first time she was really sad, and I was able to genuinely make her laugh - not faking it, a real, genuine laugh. It felt so good, and I think when that happened, I knew this could really work out to be something great."

Q: What religion do you practice?
    Our answer: Laura feels she has always been as devout in her Catholicism as she could, but she is also very open to other religions and ways of life. She feels that her faith and opinions on world religion have only grown stronger since she started dating Naveen, whose family passed to him the Hindu traditions of southern India. However, Naveen insists that his family is his religion and the thing he cares about most, and therefore he accompanies Laura to her church, prays alongside her there, and supports the idea of raising children in a Catholic environment, as long as some Hindu traditions (rites of passage) are allowed, which they are, of course. Honoring both sides of the family is very important to us - whether that means family lifestyles or religious traditions - and we feel that we are one big happy family.

Q: Are you planning on having kids?
    Our answer: Of course! We love the idea of having children and we already have a couple of names picked out that we both like!

Q: Who will you name your first child after?
    Our answer: Spiderman, or maybe Spiderman II. Okay, just kidding. Harry Potter Nattam. No, okay, if you want the truth, you're just going to have to stick with us until Laura gets wheeled into the delivery room - which isn't going to be any time soon!


Wedding Related:
Q: When and where is the wedding?

Q: There's a WEDDING?!?!?
    Our answer: Yes, surprisingly, it will occur just about the same time we would have been celebrating our 6 year mark together. We are getting married - Finally.

Q: What are your wedding colors, and do they complement each other according to color theory?
    Our answer: Very cute, thanks for asking. Color is very important for both weddings, so keep up to date here!

Q: Who's in your wedding party?

Q: Do you have a gift registry?
    Our answer: We'll be posting that information here.

Q: If you could magically go into the scenery of any movie, in what movie would you like to get married?
    Our answer: Well, if we have to agree, it would have to be the end of "You've Got Mail." That's still one of our favorite date movies, and the garden paths were pretty. But man, there are so many movies out there...

Q: If money was no object where would you go on your honeymoon?
    Our answer: A really nice, long, world cruise tour. It would be awesome to see the world from a luxurious private deck with fine wine in one hand and a local delicacy in the other.

    But, since we're not exactly in la-la land, we'll be happy with whatever we can do. A Sandals resort might be nice, or a trip up to Glacier Park and other mountainous natural wonders. We'll see!

Q: Are Catholics even allowed to marry Hindus?
    Our answer: Yes!

    In our experience, the Catholic church is very strongly attached to its ideals - one of which includes getting married in a church. Marriage is a Sacrament, a divine calling, and priests consider the church itself to be the truest, most holy place to tie the knot (as opposed to an outdoor wedding). Another ideal of the church is the concept of marrying within the faith. Years ago, if a Catholic person had a Jewish friend getting married, the Catholic person could not even go as a guest to the synagogue. These days, Catholics are being encouraged to engage in interfaith conversation and witness the faith of others to accomplish a better understanding of one another.

    Still, some very traditional priests may be uncomfortable performing the ceremony, especially given additional circumstances. Perhaps the bishop of that diocese did not allow the marriage because he did not receive proof of wedding preparation (such as FOCCUS and/or Pre-Cana classes), or perhaps such preparation has revealed some incompatibility either with each other or with the church.

    For example, one of the most important promises a couple shares (before enjoying a Catholic wedding ceremony) is pledging to raise your children in the Catholic tradition. If one or both of you do not agree to this, your request for a Catholic ceremony may be denied.

    Similarly, the church is strongly opposed to the idea of couples living together before marriage. This is primarily because the divorce rate is so high for couples who do this. Naveen and I have basically been living together in the past few years - however, we made a personal commitment early on to respect the sanctity of marriage (and by that, I mean practicing abstinence until then), which means we have learned other ways to express our affection and devotion to each other which will last throughout our lifetime together. We realize this is totally against the cultural grain (and never said it was easy after six years, either!), but we believe in it, truly and whole-heartedly.

    Strangely enough, openness to interfaith marriage varies greatly from diocese to diocese, and even parish to parish. Some are definitely more conservative, while others are becoming more liberal. This is actually why we chose to be married at St. William Parish in Waukesha. We've lived in several cities and found wonderful churches that were exceptional at relating to people in modern, multi-racial, multi-faith relationships. When we were looking for a church near our Wisconsin relatives, we did not need to go far - as soon as we found St. William, it felt right, and Father Barbian was wonderfully warm to us and our family. So it pays to look around and find a parish that speaks to your heart and resonates in your soul.

    On a sidenote, Hindus (again, in our experience, living in America) also vary in their acceptance of a multi-heritage relationship, but tend to be even more conservative. However, in terms of the wedding event itself, they are seemingly more liberal. While the marriage practice and attire are very traditional in nature, the ceremony itself feels less like an oath and more like a cultural celebration, usually in a family prayer room where a Hindu priest comes and goes through all the steps. Even in India it is uncommon for a wedding to take place in a temple, and surprisingly, usually no one can translate exactly what the priest is saying because the language is so old, but the message is still understood and celebrated nonetheless!






Monday, October 08, 2007

Share Your Questions With Us!

Feel free to post any comments here.

posted by Laura "Sko" | 10/08/2007 11:30:00 PM | 6 comments